4

existentialism

 

(Original Publication Date on
Trilllogic Innoventions: August 25, 2009)

 

Well, what about it? you might ask. I'm getting to that; hang onto your berets! Oh yes, I'm the poet. Hang onto your chins then . . . Philosophically, "Existentialism" relates to free will. But is everyone in the world free? Not by a long shot. Some because of their own mistakes. Others because they were born into bad situations, or were in the wrong place at the right time. Some are imprisoned by fear, doubt, anger, even hate — stemming from the scars of experience and loss; the twisty ties that bind.

But what binds all of us together? The mere fact we exist. We share this wondrous hurtling planet at precisely the same point in time, and that's pretty astounding! If the degree of closeness of our D.N.A. isn't enough to convince you, being here now should certainly give you a sense of warmness toward your fellow human beings. It's like we're part of one big messy superfamily. Sure, a bickering dysfunctional splintered family group (sound "familiar"?), yet a family nevertheless!

What does it matter? Good grief, must every paragraph begin with a question?!? Okay, I'm the one writing this so I guess that could be construed as my fault. Guess I've answered my own question then! Back to your question. Which I considerately composed for you. Everything matters. Life matters. If it didn't, we wouldn't be here.

What I'm trying to say is, and that isn't a question, don't let it pass you by. Don't let it slip away while you're blinking. Approach this gift of life with your eyes wide, your heart too, or you'll miss the
best parts.

 

 

existentialism

 

Fraught by doubt from its conception

Against all odds and every even

Life is like a game of chance

You're here and then you're leavin'!

 

Frights and blights may long divert us

Plagues and lags might weigh like boulders

Paths can stray or stall or wender

Hauling worlds upon our shoulders

 

Existential truths allude

While Gravity our ankle grips

Minds will query, ambitions tarry

As the moment's memory of detail slips

 

Yet by birth we all share one thing

That none can ever quite remove

The quest for freedom, a yenning spirit

To live unshackled within our groove

 

And as the record spins its song

The needle dulling at each turn

We fondly crackle-pop with age

And cherish lives well-learned

 

It's not the distance traveled

Nor the wrinkles we attain

What matters in the end will be

The texture of the rain

What I remember most will be

Soul-dancing in the rain.

Quoth the knaven, "Othermore!"

 

I suppose I'm supposed to impart some additional traditional existential blather here. You know, why anything is anything and nothing is nothing and everything is, well, you get the picture.

The thing of it is (and I say that a lot, especially while chatting with myself), none of us would be anything without life. We wouldn't be here, having this one-sided conversation, if we didn't exist.

We wouldn't care about our feud with the neighbors, the latest office politics, what so-and-so said about such-and-such.

We wouldn't care about anything at all. And that's somewhat remarkable, if'n ya think about it. Doesn't it put all of those little worries, those piddling paucities of Life, into perspective?

If your reply is no, you probably shouldn't be reading this book. You need to consult someone who actually knows anything about something or other. I'm serious. Put down the book and scuttle
off.

Now that that's settled, let's get on with it. And don't ask, "On with what?" I was hoping you'd know.

 

Anything

 

(Song Lyrics - 1993)

 

When I surprise myself

By growing in some way

I see myself as someone else

I was not yesterday

I reach below

The surface of my life

And feel the flow

Of something more than pride

I feel the power rise

I feel the energy

I feel the flow of something endless

In the depth of me

A strength I never knew I had

I feel that I can be

Anything

 

When my ideas

Don't amount to anything

And I just want to find a place

To lose myself within

But I can't go

Can't run away and hide

Before I know

I feel a change inside

I feel the power rise

I feel the energy

I feel the flow of something endless

In the depth of me

A strength I never knew I had

I feel that I can be

Anything

 

When I get caught in moods

Of wondering who I am

I see a stranger's face

Reflected on the windowpane

When I feel low

I keep it all inside

It doesn't show

The trail of tears I've cried

It takes me time to fill my mind

With confidence

And all it takes

Is one harsh word

To bring me down again

But when it flows

It lifts me way up high

I'm on my toes

And reaching for the sky

I feel the power rise

I feel the energy

I feel the flow of something endless

In the depth of me

A strength I never knew I had

I feel that I can be

Anything.

 

Herstory

 

This is the Story of a writer

Telling the story of a Writer

In a panoply of Voices

It is the Classic Tale

Of a Little Girl Lost

A Woman scorned

And a Mother found

 

Here is a record of Truth

The odyssey of a Victim

The history of a Survivor

The epic struggle to be heard

It is the chronicle of a Dreamer

Who would become Three

Yet seek and aspire as One

 

This is a story you cannot forget

It is a story that must be told

A compendium of universal themes

Yet it is my story

And will be Ourstory

For now I shall name it

Herstory.

 

This Year

 

(January 14, 2004 -

Penned On My Birthday)

 

Last year

Was going to be

The one

To finally make my dreams

Explode

To find

The perfect words

The right

Ideas

To make it happen

 

Last year

I penned some tales

Competed, was defeated

Followed my path

Of winding wishes

And never quit

Believing

 

Last year

It didn't happen

But I wrote . . .

 

This year

As yet unknown

I'll keep believing

Reaching higher and achieving

With quills of hope

Risking

Soaring

On ambitious plumes

Powered by

Exhilaration

 

This year

Luck could change

Things may be different

And still the same

I'll be a dreamer

A fantasy weaver

Spinning my threads

 

This year

Whatever happens

I will write.

 

A Lifetime

 

Spontaneous

Amazing

Pensive

Compromising

 

Challenging

Fragile

Predictable

Exciting

 

Fleeting

Common

Painful

Inspiring

 

Pliable

Susceptible

Emotional

Contriving

 

Mysterious

Unique

Uncertain

Abiding.